Last night I was unfortunate enough to hear about yet another story of cheating. This was a classic tale of girl meets boy, girl believes boy ticks all the boxes, girl and boy start seeing each other, girl and boy go on holiday together, girl believes that she and boy work fantastically as a couple, girl is happy everything is going well and tells her best friend that she’s ecstatic to have finally met a decent boy.
Girl then happens to stumble across boy’s Facebook messages. Girl figures out boy is cheating with multiple girls.
Boy is no longer decent.
Girl is heartbroken.
And in turn, the dwindling faith that I have in relationships crumbled that little bit more.
I am heartbroken for my friend. She is absolutely stunning, intelligent, talented, caring, insightful, independent, loving, inquisitive and fun. And that is just the start of it. She is one of the most interesting people I have ever met and I am very lucky to have her in my life.
And this boy was also extremely lucky to have her.
I met boy once, and if he didn’t turn out to be such a spiteful, selfish tool, I would not say what I am about to say – but he was definitely not in her league in the looks department. I did not know him well enough to pass judgment on his personality, but let’s just say that if I were him and I managed to bag her, I would think myself to be the luckiest guy alive and do everything in my power to make sure that she stayed mine. Girls like her do not come along that often. When will men realise that?
But it seems that some people want it all. They want the loving, doting partner at home, while they get cheap thrills on the side.
My friend is truly a great catch, and even she is having trouble keeping a guy. I always used to assume that guys cheated with someone better than their partner, but over the years I have realised this really is not this case – most of the time, it’s a meaningless fling with someone they have just met. Why risk sacrificing a life with someone who has grown to trust you, for a quickie with a stranger? And if you want quickies with randoms, WHY stay in a relationship?
I do not get it.
People sometimes say that I am a cynic, but deep down I really do not believe I am. Those who get to know me realise very quickly that I am a romantic at heart – even if it has eluded me so far, I want to believe that true love exists. I want to believe that when you meet the right person, and you decide you want to dedicate yourself to him/her, that you do, and that everyone else ceases to exist.
I want to believe in true love. I really, really do.
However, my memory is tarnished with so many tales that sound very much like the above, and it saddens me. I do understand that as humans we seek out long-term companionship, and that as humans we do make mistakes from time-to-time, and one of those mistakes is cheating. But I’ve seen it happen SO many times now that I am beginning to wonder whether it’s a character flaw or a genetic reality. We are animals, after all, and most animals aren’t monogamous. Apart from gibbons, allegedly, and a few others.
But then I do not want to believe that we cannot be monogamous. The romantic in me wants to believe that true love exists, and that fidelity comes as part of the package. I want to believe that someday I will meet someone who will dedicate himself to me truly and completely. I want to believe that despite the fact that I hear more tales of infidelity than ‘happily ever after’ that the fairytale ideal exists. I want to believe that not all humans are doomed to be glorified apes with the inability to recognise a good thing when they see it.
Someone, anyone, please: tell me that true love exists?